Sometimes I Just Don’t Know

There are moments in life where we all take time to think about our future. We start to think about what we could be doing in the next 5 years or even 10 years. What’s so scary about it is the fact that it’s just thoughts. You truly don’t know if things will go your way. You just don’t know if your future will be bright. You can think about these things, but who knows if you got the endurance to accomplish them you know?

I honestly don’t think about my future that much. Of course, I want a great future. A family, nice house, nice car, living in a good environment, and doing what I would absolutely love to do and that’s travel the world. It’s easy to think about these things, but then I get a little frightened. I now gotta think about how I’m gonna get to that position. How exactly am I gonna thrive myself to have my future be the way I always imagined it would be? That’s what I think about the most and almost all the time I come up with the same conclusion, I just don’t know.

On most days, I would feel so empty. I’m seeing people out here living their best life, living life to the fullest. Don’t get me wrong my life is fine right now, but I want more. I want to start building my future. I’m starting to do so little by little, but at the same time I hate myself for it sometimes because I feel like I’m starting to do so late. I know there’s never “too late” to do anything in life, but the more you grow, the more chances can become limited. Opportunities are brought very rarely and I always think about what are the consequences of going after those opportunities without any thought process behind them. I always think, ” Man, I wonder what the consequences gonna be if I take this opportunity and go for it? Will I make it out fine? Will I mess it up for myself? How will my peers react?” I always overthink these things.

This is where my writing comes in. Over a year ago I bought myself a notebook and just started writing journal entries. I write what’s in my head. I write what I think. Each time I always think about how will people react to them. How will people think about me as a writer. Even I think about myself as a writer. I’m not an arrogant person and sometimes I think I’m a great writer. I truly don’t know. I’ve mostly heard positive things about my writing. I know I write well, but I want to accomplish more with it. Yet again, I truly don’t know. I don’t know how to get my writing out there more. There are ways for sure and I gotta figure out how. I want to take my writing to the next level. I want to make a career out of it. Show the world what goes on in my head. I don’t know what my next step will be, but it’ll be a memorable one for me.

I overthink a lot of things and it can mess up my mind sometimes. Overthinking can be my own enemy. I have moments where I would overthink so much and lose myself from reality. The reality is that I can have the future I desire if I put it into action. That’s what I’m doing with my writing. I just don’t know how’ll things will turn out. Don’t know if everyone around the world will like my writing or not. That’s for me to find out on my own. Anything I do, will always have reactions. I just need to know these things.

Moral of the post is this; I can’t always predict the future in a positive light. In order for me to have the future I want, there will be negatives along the way. What I need to do is to know that I will have my future the way I want it, I just need to use my actions as the guidance to my future. At the end of the road, I won’t look back. I’ll keep going. I’ll settle for less. That’s what I know for sure.